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| Day 10 - First time quitting |
| When I left detox I was given a list of meetings and local resources. To tell you the truth, I was freaked out and very nervous to attend. Right before I left, a worker told me there were a lot of... When I left detox I was given a list of meetings and local resources. To tell you the truth, I was freaked out and very nervous to attend. Right before I left, a worker told me there were a lot of online support resources to aid in recovery - this was the best advice I could ever receive. I have read many similar stories like mine, and they have given the courage continue living in sobriety.
The physical withdrawal is over and done with. Right now I feel like most of my problems are psychological. I found it very hard to get up this morning because it takes so much time for me to fall asleep. Nights are the worst for my anxiety since that is when I started drinking (after work, rough day-everyday). I have had a few instances where I thought "one beer" would be okay, but quickly distracted my thoughts from it.
It seems like it's going to be a long road, but I know today I will not drink. I'm hopeful, and taking it one day at a time.
Thanks again for this forum.
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| New to this board |
| Hi everyone..I go to Alanon meetings but this is my first time here...My husband and I are separated since Sept.,he has been trying to reconcile with me for months and I was not really nice about it... Hi everyone..I go to Alanon meetings but this is my first time here...My husband and I are separated since Sept.,he has been trying to reconcile with me for months and I was not really nice about it and really thought I wanted out..But I was really angry about the lies, the fraud, the 2 rehabs..I dont know. I thought it was a good thing to ask him to leave after he started drinking again..he went to rehab after I asked him to move out but I wanted to wait to make sure he would stay sober so he lived with family..fast forward..in the last month.he got his own apartment, wants nothing to do with me, says he is filing divorce and when I tried to see him he literally ran away from me. I am beyond hurt and speechless. But then I tell myself..this is the unreasonable behavior I have always seen. I am Catholic and dont want to get divorced but I got all weak in the last month and I was mad at myself for that. And what is even worse is..even though I stopped enabling him..he is now close with a family member that has taken over my role and doesnt believe in AA..he thinks he should just keep busy and get divorced and he will be better. I know he is still drinking and tries to quit all the time ..but suddenly..I got the ax after 10 years. We have been married for 3 years..I guess I shouldnt be surprised. I wish his family would stay out of our marriage and I asked them too..We will be fighting and he goes to his cousin's house and makes him answer the phone. I felt like an idiot cause then it makes me look foolish but I guess I deserve it for taking the bait. I asked the family member to stay out of our marriage nicely but he says my A asked him for help so he will help him..I dont understand any of this. I have a therapist and go to alanon..I am trying to work on myself..afraid of the doorbell in case I am being served divorce papers but I just wanted to vent. My hubby is a functional A so wasnt till I lived with him that I realized the extent of his drinking. Meanwhile I felt like I was going insane..He is online dating and everything and I feel like someone slapped me across the face. I am not allowed to talk to my own husband anymore. Seriously in shock over all these events..I have to wonder if this is another manipulation tactic or we are over. Guess it shouldnt matter. Thanks so much for listening
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| Day 19. On the wagon, off with love |
| Doubt can be a bond as powerful and sustaining as certainty. When you are lost, you are not alone - Father Brendan Flynn, Doubt
So here I am. Day 19. Just coming back from what supposed to be... Doubt can be a bond as powerful and sustaining as certainty. When you are lost, you are not alone - Father Brendan Flynn, Doubt
So here I am. Day 19. Just coming back from what supposed to be a relaxing 3 day break. Oh my poor stressed body and brains. Cant even be bothered with yearning for a drink. I knew from the beginning that the idea of having romance with a married man wasnt one of my greatest. I knew that three years ago, but I did not listen to my wise self. Three years ago I rarely listened to anyone. I am still not sure what actually holds this relationship, if I may call it so, together. Well, it use to be our binge nights, getting ****** on booze and coke, getting ****** in bed. Now I am sober. He doesnt drink when I dont drink. Sex is barely existent, not that it actually bothers me. I struggle everyday with keeping it straight. No more lies, excuses, no more drink. Trying to make each day as productive as possible. Trying to please his expectations, make it simple, make it nice, ******* desperate housewife. The man comes home. Toilet paper folded clockwise instead of counterclockwise, I dared to drink directly from a juice box and his socks aint ironed
well, more or less. Tired.com
Stress-o-holic and Alcoholic on one shaky wagon.
After these 3 relaxing days I am exhausted, I just want to curl in bed and cosy up to my sweet dreams of freedom. The situation that Im in gets more and more tangled every day. Do I love him? Question is, do I still remember how love should feel? Being with someone that makes you want to cry eighty percent of the time, is not the best addition to my attempt on recovery. Oh, blimey. Choices
Is this what happens when you start seeing your life, not as a blurry alcoholics vision? Life is grey, and yet I can see a rainbow hiding behind a mountain. I must cross this mountain, must clear it of all the crap barehanded. My fingernails will get dirty, Ill tore my skin apart, Ill tore his heart. The deed must be done. Through the darkness towards light, like an old man with a lantern walking through the 19th century London, lighting up the dark alleys. Step by step. Day by day. I am watching clouds now, theyre passing by, some are interwoven with violets. Its good to be able to see violets again.
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| Mexico: Cartels Use Intimidation Campaign to Stifle News Coverage in Mexico |
| Dallas Morning News, 08 Mar 2010 - REYNOSA, Mexico - In the days since a long-simmering dispute erupted into open warfare between the Gulf drug cartel and its former enforcers, the Zetas, censorship of news developments has reached unprecedented dimensions along much of Mexico's border with Texas. A virtual news blackout has been imposed, several sources said, enforced by threats, abductions and attacks against journalists. In the past 14 days, at least eight Mexican journalists have been abducted in the Reynosa area, which is across the border from McAllen. One died after a severe beating, according to reports that could not be independently verified. Two were released by their captors. The rest are missing. |
| US CO: Editorial: An Open Letter to AG Eric Holder |
| The Gazette, 10 Mar 2010 - Dear Attorney General Holder: The Colorado Springs Gazette, Colorado's second largest daily newspaper, respectfully joins four Colorado politicians who wrote to ask that you rein in your Drug Enforcement Administration officers in Colorado. They've acted with disrespect for the voters of Colorado to undermine our state's constitutional right to buy, sell, produce and consume medical marijuana. Their actions have undermined sincere efforts by state and local politicians to achieve responsible medical marijuana regulation |
| US MO: OPED: Drug Prohibition: Just Say No |
| Southeast Missourian, 07 Mar 2010 - I am grateful to Cape Girardeau lawyer John L. Cook for his op-ed piece against drug prohibition. It takes courage and clarity of vision. I have much respect for the Teen Challenge program and the individuals who are taking advantage of its help, as well as Dr. Jack Smart for directing the program. It takes gumption and faith. In his rebuttal to Mr. Cook, Dr. Smart was, however, substantively wrong in his assertion that this country has never been without drug prohibition. |
| US NC: Sen. Albertson Writes a Ditty About Willie |
| The Free Press, 07 Mar 2010 - Legislator Says to "Leave the Man Alone" RALEIGH -- North Carolina's singing senator has recorded a song critical of the marijuana and alcohol charges filed against members of singer-songwriter Willie Nelson's band in January. |
| US CO: Editorial: Listen to Voters on Medical Marijuana |
| Denver Post, 08 Mar 2010 - We question whether state lawmakers have the authority to create a dispensary system. Why not put it before the voters? Medical marijuana legislation pending in the state legislature could legitimize hundreds of dispensaries, and we don't think that honors the intent of voters who approved narrowly drawn access for sick people. While state lawmakers may believe they have the authority to create a dispensary system for medical marijuana - that is, we think, a debatable legal question - we don't think they should. That is an issue voters ought to decide. |
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